please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
