Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
