Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Randomize
