apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
