Cold hands, warm shart.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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