Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
This is the high leading the old right now
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
