She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
