Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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