So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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