i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
