Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
