She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
