No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I'm passing your future prison.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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