Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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