question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
