his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
