im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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