yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
