I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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