You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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