I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
