Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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