I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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