Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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