it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
