I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Randomize
