Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
