do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
