he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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