Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
