How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
