I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
