did you get engaged???
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
They have beer where we have blood.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
how does that bad decision feel?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
