Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Randomize
