Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
