I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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