There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
