i just wanna soil my oats bro
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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