If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She's the barista slut.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
