I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
