Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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