i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
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