i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
