Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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