No awkward lesbian experiences without me
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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