K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
