dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
