please come you make the beer taste better
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
