I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize
