Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
she pinky promised me she was 18
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
