The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
