Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
