Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
