Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
My hand turned me down
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Woke up backwards on a recliner
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
